He had what you might call a trivial occupation
He cleaned the platforms of the local railway station
With no romance in his life
Sometimes he wished he had a wife
He read the matrimonial advertising pages
The cries for help from different people, different ages
But they had nothing to say
At least not until the day
When something special he read
This is what it said:

If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
We’re the answer if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one
If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one
We’re the answer if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one
He called the number and a voice said, “Alice Whiting”
The voice was husky and it sounded quite exciting
He was amazed at his luck

The purest streak of gold he’d struck

He said, “I read your ad, it sounded rather thrilling
I think a meeting could be mutually fulfilling
Why don’t we meet for a chat
The three of us in my flat
I can’t forget what I read”
This is what it said:
If you dream of the girl for you
Then call us and get two for the price of one

We’re the answer if you feel blue
So call us and get two for the price of one